LIGHTS, CAMERA....... POSE!

I stopped and stood there with dough covered fingers and flour down my front, enjoying the familiar but distant warm fuzzy, while the cook's instructions continued in the background and I realised.... I WAS NOT MY AUNTY!

I don't mean it like that, well in fact I do. I am redefining who I am, we all are and it seems to be apparently as difficult a task for all of humanity as it is for me. 

Whatever you knew about how you defined the world outside of your four walled cushioned comforts, feel free to throw it out the window. It won't do you much good now, because everything has changed. Whether you a a pandemic believer or denier, it matters not.... we're all heading in the same direction, some more reluctantly than others but here we all are. Here I am.

I was a mess, literally. There was dough under my micro nails, flour on my apron, flour on my wrists and on the counter, the tawah was smoking and the smell of burning ghee was filling the room and there was now a hole in my uncooked roti which my right thumb had made because I had simply become frozen in time as the epiphany washed over me in all it's stillness and bodhi. The perfect dough was sagging somewhat unpleasantly around my hands mimicking a plaster sculpture of hands in supplication. I became aware of my body again and it was as clear to me as day.... I had to write.

Much if not everything we've been trained to do was for display. Our labours begin so that we can walk out to face the world, they end when the show is over and we return to our sanctums, however decorated and constructed. The pandemic had changed the meaning of facing the world, we're now faced with facing ourselves more than not and in our now cocooned existence, the spotlight has narrowed it's focus to your singular (uncomfortable) body, now the show's headliner to an empty auditorium, and everything is out of wack.

Well we all did the very same thing, the show was over, the crowds had clapped, and cheered, booed or disapproved and there was now nothing more to see so they'd filed out while discussing animatedly among themselves whether the show was even worth seeing a second time, while some raved. The hall was now shrouded in gloom, so you made your way back to your salon, bouet in hand, and plopped down on that worn out chaise. You removed your accoutrements as and prepared for a temporary reprieve as the theatre went dark.

But this sabbatical had brought with it some unexpected redefinings. In our virtual meetings, lecture halls and group chats, we are loosing the stag selves we had come to know and now have become close acquaintances with an unkempt version of that self, who never seems to go away. The sudden realisation that this sloven person need not hustle to the shower or give that reflective object even a cursory glance buoyed us. In fact our mirrors are covered with a most delicate layer on the finest particulates that you can ever imagine. And we rejoiced, at first, as our soaps, lotions and potions lay forsaken needing no replenishment. 

We rejoiced at the respite the world was now being forced to take, the time we would be saving from commutes, the excuses we were now armed with to facilitate effective evasions, but the shouts of glory, hallelujahs soon turned to silent lamentations and we couldn't quite put our finger on it to verbalise it but the vibe was gone. Events cancelled, entertainment halls were boarded up, as we anxiously awaited apocalyptic updates from our authorities, WHO and the UN. We rode the wave of back to normal, no not yet, let's wait and see, it looks like things are improving until the information overload had dulled our neurons and we respond with Shakespearean bodhi when asked: 

"How's it going where you are?"

"It is, what it is, yes. It is what it will be"

But the epiphany said..... "Do the teenage you again"

I replied "What?"

Epiphany said more insistently "Go back to the teenage you that would wake up, clean your room, exercise, bath, dress and couif your hair to go absolutely nowhere"

I scoffed, pushed up my mouth a bit and said..... "For What!?"

Ephiphay whispered right in my ear: "Because you did that just for you"

and then Epiphany smiled that half smile, strolled past me and walked away......

Click, if you'd like to know more About Me:

A certified digital marketing specialist, social media coach, textile designer, accountant, soon to be published author and vintner currently living in Tobago. She is also the founder & the managing director at Caribbean Social Media Head-Quarters.

A native of Trinidad & Tobago, she attended under-graduate college in Barbados. When she isn't travelling, she can be found on any of the 3 islands, crafting a niche in the Caribbean's social media scene from her trusty laptop.

Her interests range from technology, gastronomy, and the arts to humanitarianism. She is also very passionate about entrepreneurship and in helping small businesses reach their full marketing potential.